Never have a Threesome with a Clown Contractor

UPDATE!!!!  On the morning of 10/30, the repair men were scheduled to arrive between 7 and 9AM.  At 9:30, the called to let us know they were running late.  Ya think?  At which point, Chris told them not to bother showing up at all.  I’m kinda’ happy he fired them.  But I’m also rather irked my basement is still a damned disaster.  

Recall that previous post I wrote about my chilly relationship with my house?  And I said I was thinking about spicing it up with a handyman threesome?

Turns out I was WRONG.  Threesomes, it seems are a really shitty idea. . .

My encounters with the clowns that have been involved with our house have left me hot and bothered in the worst kind of way.  Neither the house nor I are getting any satisfaction.

Every time I try to get someone here to lavish some attention on the house, they rapidly prove themselves wholly unworthy:

The guy that built us some new exterior stairs?  He only felt it advisable to install one handrail.

The fucknut that installed some new flooring in our basement?  He didn’t bother to purchase additional waterproof membrane when he ran out.  That resulted in a complete, mold laden cluster fuck that we’re still attempting to rectify.

Same said fucknut did such a piss poor job finishing the drywall in our basement I’m almost elated we had to cut half of it out due to the mold.

The douche-bags that did the roof?  Incompetent is being generous.

And you know what?  These guys are actually worth mentioning because at least they (eventually) SHOWED UP!  Half of these jokers NEVER show up.  Never.  It’s as if in order to get a contractor’s license you have to prove you are unreliable, lazy, and have no pride in your work.  It makes me positively bonkers.

I can’t tell you how much time my Husband has wasted babysitting the various folks that have attempted to service this old house.  It sickens me to think of the money we’ve spent on inferior home repairs.

You know how my Husband plans to spend his Saturday?  Babysitting the latest crew of ding-dong clowns that have been hired to address the water problem in the basement.

Yeah.  They were supposed to do this work two days ago but did not because they reportedly couldn’t fit their truck in our alley. . .And apparently couldn’t procure a smaller one, despite the fact that they are a nationally known waterproofing company with a decent local presence?!  Don’t clowns generally stuff themselves into very small cars that would fit in our alley? 

I’m sure tomorrow morning while I’m attempting to craft a nice eggs Benedict for my Husband, the phone will ring.  No doubt the clown car can’t make it though the threat of snow and mixed precipitation.

Threesomes are a bad, bad, bad idea. . .Especially with clown contractors. . .But how do you spot one before it’s too late?

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