Introducing a New Feature: Crammed In Like Sardines

T of Starfishandsnowflake recently mentioned her affinity for small spaces, particularly her own small home.  I could relate.

Our circa 1910 row home is 12 feet wide.  That is not a typo.  It’s 12 feet wide.

Contained within it’s approx 960 square feet are 2 “grown ups,” one 10-month old, 2-70 pound dogs, and 3 cats.  Because I’m frequently delusional, I like to think of it as cozy.

BUT some days it does feel like we are crammed in this place like a bunch of smelly, glassy-eyed sardines. . .In all fairness I’m usually the smelly and glassy-eyed one – lack of showering and booze is a truly magical mix.

So I thought I’d use Starfishandsnowflake’s post regarding small spaces as inspiration and build upon it, putting even more of my domestic dysfunction on display for your amusement.

A small house is awesome for a variety of reasons:

1.  It inspires ruthless editing.  If something  doesn’t serve at least two purposes, make me fucking giddy with delight for aesthetic reasons, or contain chocolate or booze, it doesn’t get through the front door.  Do you hear me Husband?!  Yes, you make me giddy for aesthetic reasons but wine is never a bad idea.  

2.  The mortgage is manageable.  The costs to heat and cool the joint are manageable.

3.  The cleaning and maintenance are manageable.  It helps that I’ve banished all carpets and throw rugs from the premises.  They are puke and pee magnets I tell you!  

4.  Our continued close proximity ensures that my Husband is always within earshot of my endless litany of bitching, moaning, and complaining.  And I’m never far from his eextremely witty remarks.  Overheard during a diaper change not long ago?  Chris to kid in pirate voice, “Argh me little buccaneer, a little less sword play or ye be walking the plank.”

Ok.  That’s really all the positive shit I could come up with and even that took some seriously over-optimistic reaching on my part.  However, be sure to check back for periodic updates, tips, and anecdotes regarding our little can of sardines!

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