Friday Funny: In Which Hot Pockets Apparently Get Even Suckier

Before becoming a stay at home Mom, I had a pretty grown up job.  Yeah.  It was stressful and sometimes confrontational and certainly didn’t provide many opportunities for creativity.  I’m very thankful I can now stay at home and clean up crap and vomit all day.

Of course it wasn’t all bad.  I had to review the email daily.  Yes.  On a daily basis, I was to read incoming and outgoing emails.  It certainly wasn’t a secret emails were reviewed, but still the shit I had to read!

What the hell does this have to do with some sucky-assed hot pockets you ask?  Well, every once in a while, an email would come along that make me laugh so hard, I’d snarf coffee.  What follows is something very similar to an email I read one morning from a Client Service Representative to the makers of Hot Pockets. . .

Presumably there was an original email inquiry from our hero in this case asking about a particular Hot Pockets product.

The response from the Hot Pockets Representative involved a response apologizing that the specific product was no longer being manufactured.  It had been reformulated and once the requested product had been cleared off the store shelves, it would be forever unavailable.

This prompted a response – similar to what follows – from our hero which is what made coffee spew forth from my nose:  “This is ridiculous.  Why was the product changed in the first place?  If something is a great product, why would you change the taste and quantity of the sausage, thereby reducing the amount of the most important product (the Egg)?!  Was this publicly taste tested?  This is very disappointing.  It’s hard enough to get kids to eat breakfast as it is.  Your suggestion to choose another product is just great, but you don’t have another product the kid likes.  Would you be willing to change the formula back when your sales plummet?  We represent $1,000 in annual sales of this product at a consumption of one per day.”

The scary part about this craziness?  He feeds his kid $1,000 of Hot Pockets a year?! Now that I’m a parent, I can almost feel this poor man’s pain!


6 thoughts on “Friday Funny: In Which Hot Pockets Apparently Get Even Suckier

  1. I want to be judgmental about Hot Pockets being horrible sodium drenched fatty pies, but now that I’ve made grilled cheese sandwiches every day for the last six months, I know the pain. If that’s what he’s going to eat, and all he’s going to eat, he can have it!

    • I have a younger sister that went through a phase where all she would eat was canned vegetable soup. I think it lasted about a year! Kids are soooooo strange. 🙂

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