Ahhh. . .when I worked outside the home, Friday afternoons were a great time to be alive. Maybe I lingered at lunch a few minutes longer. . .maybe I pretended to be monitoring trading activity while what I was really doing was reading blogs. . .maybe a few co-workers and I would crack up talking about Saved by the Bell for a solid 20 minutes. . .
This particular afternoon I’m extracting Goldfish crackers from my sweaty cleavage, frantically trying to cook, play “smootch delivery” with Mac (thought that one all up on my own – sober. . .be impressed. Very impressed. He rides around on his truck and brings me kisses and hugs), and do laundry while counting down the minutes until the Husband gets home.
I thought maybe if you are lucky enough to be in a quiet boring office this afternoon, you might like to hear a few updates. . .see a few highlights. . .
1. I wrote here about always getting a long-dead guy’s mail. Well guess what? After I used the direct mail opt out request form um on his deceased behalf, we probably only get 1-3 pieces of mail for him per week now! YEAH responsible me!!
2. We had a gruesome hiking experience in a tick-infested meadow a few weeks ago. My Husband is currently at the Doctor’s getting an antibiotic. I guess my close range tick inspection was shoddy at best.
3. If you recall, I’ve single-handedly declared war on a rogue off-leash Collie and his stupid owner in Patterson Park. . .I’ve written about three encounters: This, that, and ugh the other. Since my last post, I haven’t been back to the Park. Mac and I opted to walk along the waterfront the past few days in hopes of catching a few strong breezes to cut the already! oppressive Baltimore humidity.
4. As for the very special delivery that errantly landed in our mail box. . .I’m not really sure what happened to that? Hmmmm. . . .Now I definitely have something to discuss with the Husband during dinner this evening.
5. And while I’m speaking to the Hubs, I might remind him about my Mother’s Day Guidelines. . .
6. Top Searches that landed possibly some of you to this little corner of the Internet? vampire and milk; how to get a colossal ass; reluctant mom gives into son stories; the diary of a tabby cat for kids; eleven month baby on a plane. Yeah. That pretty much sums it up.
7. Speaking of how to get a colossal ass, you should definitely check out my most evil genius idea to date if you have some down-time this weekend.
8. And because it’s Friday and you all seemed to adore this disgusting slop, without further delay is Milk Vampire! Again. . .gag, heave, again.