Friday Funny: Reluctant Mother Has a “Flash” of Genius

So when I started this weekly installment, I thought I’d have lots of material. . .And I did for a bit.  But now that I’m stuck in a darkened air-conditioned house most of the day like Mommy Vampire trying to thwart Baby vampire’s attempts to know on her leg, I’m coming up dry.

So I’m going to dig deep and tell you a little story about one of my commutes home from work way back in the day.

When I drove home every evening, I’d make a left off of the JFX onto Fayette and then cut down Central Avenue for a couple of blocks to avoid some of that congestion on President Street.

One fine spring afternoon, I was stopped at a light on Central Avenue.  I look to my left and there is a gentleman standing in the raised median/curb directly to my left.  I have a small car that sits relatively low to the ground.  I can see the man gesturing and he’s bent over at the waist peering in my driver’s side window.

He’s definitely trying to get my attention.

So I roll down the window.

Him:  “Hey, do you have a boyfriend?”

Me:  “No.  I’m married.”

Him:  “Well, you can still have a boyfriend.”

This is going to be the longest light ever isn’t it?

Him:  “Hey, is your husband black?”

Me:  “He is not.”

Him:  “Well, why not?”

Me:  “Well, I fell in love with him and he’s white.  Although, race would not have been a factor.  Had I fallen in love with an African-American man or a man of any other race I would have definitely married him.”

I can’t believe I’m having this conversation.  I was expecting him to tell me I had a headlight out.  Maybe ask for a little cash. . .but this?

Him:  “Well you need a black boyfriend.  Know what I’m saying?”

And just as I was about to respond that I had no idea what he was saying. . .

Again, with the responding Deni?

He stood up straight.  And his waist was at my eye level. . .he was inches away from my face.

And it was at this point I realized his penis was completely out of his pants!

And the light turned green.

I very calmly wished him good day.

Then I jammed the car into gear and pealed out of there. . .

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5 thoughts on “Friday Funny: Reluctant Mother Has a “Flash” of Genius

  1. Hahaha! That did NOT happen! What did your hubby say after you told him the story?! Oh my gosh I would have laughed so hard… that was so awkward!!!

    • I thought it was hilarious too. My Husband said something to the effect of “Don’t roll down your car windows and talk to strange men again.” I suppose he has a point.

  2. Pingback: I’m Clearly Not Qualified To Toilet Train Our Son. . .The Deluxe Edition | The Diary of a Reluctant Mother

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