Tick Tock. . .The Disturbing Sound of Your Eggs Rotting. . .

It has always been our desire for Mac to have at least one sibling.

Watch now as Deni clumsily opens a huge ass can of worms. . .

In a perfect world, there would be three siblings.  We would have 2 and adopt 2.

But we live in a world of 900 some odd square feet of pet plagued squalor.

I’m not completely sold on the idea of being pregnant again, but I am firm in my resolve that Mac will have a sibling.  And I’m 36.  And we don’t want them too far apart in age.

So either we have to time being drunk and extremely stupid just right or else We need to make a decision soon.

Oh how I waffle.  There are days when I think I could definitely handle a 2-year-old and an infant.

Ok.  I had part of one day where I thought I could definitely handle it. . .

Honestly, I can’t even wrap my brain around the logistics of it all.

It’s not that I have concerns about my capacity to unconditionally and completely love another child.  It’s more that I’m concerned about having enough time, patience, energy to fully focus on each child as needed, plus the house, the pets. . .right, and my Husband too.

The details are both mind-numbing and terrifying.

If the decision to have one child was agonizing, I can’t even tell you how agonizing deciding to have a subsequent has become. . .

Where will the baby sleep?  Will the baby sleep?  What if I’m terribly ill this pregnancy and Mac doesn’t get adequate attention?  Oh My Gawd, what if there’s bed rest involved?  Is Mac still at an age where all my attention should be fully focused on him?  How am I going to chase Mac around when I’m 38 weeks pregnant and miserable?  I hate being pregnant.  Do I try to “time” it so their actual birthday’s are spread out?  What if I time it so they are close together?  Would they hate me for having to share a birthday party on an annual basis?  Why did I get rid of all those new-born clothes already?  What if we’re tempting fate and a this baby isn’t as healthy or happy as Mac?  What is the added emotional and financial stress going to do to our marriage?

BLERGH!!!!!!

Am I the only freak that agonizes about such things continually?

Do normal folks just toss their profalactics in the trash and jump in the sack and try to enjoy the moment?

If I’m waffling this much maybe I already know the answer?

Or not?

TICK TOCK. . .TICK TOCK. . .TICK TOCK. . .

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11 thoughts on “Tick Tock. . .The Disturbing Sound of Your Eggs Rotting. . .

  1. Am turning 33 next year and my obgyn, my mom and my husband have all dropped hints (oblique and hit-you-on-the-head blunt) about offspring #2. My son turned 3 a few days back and it’s a toss up whether I want to jump off the roof or throw him off the balcony. But honestly, I wouldn’t mind a sibling for him. Am just not crazy about the time from 2 years on wards. I barely survived this one.

    Long story short? You aren’t alone. I too might need to be tipsy as hell to get preggy again!

    • Thank you! How fast until you can send them to pre-school and sit around doing nothing all day? Oh wait. It doesn’t work that way does it? Haha! You are a few years younger than we are so you still have plenty of time to see how years 3, 4, 5 go. . .I’ve heard from quite a number of folks that 3 is much more difficult than 2. The things people don’t tell you until you actually have children!! Hang in there!

  2. Well, you’ve already read my dilemmas about this, so you know I feel torn too. On the one hand, I do think Bubby should have a sibling, but on the other, I am just not sure the hubs and I could handle it all again. Sometimes I wonder if a failed birth control “episode” would be best as our minds would be made up for us, but then I really think about how I would react to that, and I find myself wanting to get out a magnifying glass to thoroughly examine those boxes of trojans in our bathroom cabinet.

    But I wonder if EVERYONE has this same sort of reaction, or if this is a sign that we’re not meant to do it again?

    Hmmmm, maybe it’s time to get out the magic 8 ball?

    What does your husband say? Does he want to do it again?

    • My Husband would have had 10 kids by now if I agreed. He loves kids! And I have to admit, I love them a LOT more now that we have our own. Based on the comments a lot of people carefully think about this decision. (Who knew? Ha!). Good luck! I’m going to find my Magic 8 Ball!

  3. You are so not alone. I thought I was going to have one kid. And then when that kid turned 4 I woke up and realized she needed one thing more than any other things on the planet. She needed a sibling. A partner in family crime. Someone she could bitch about us to. They would have each other – forever and ever! So when she turned 5 – she got a bro. At first the 5 years seems like a world apart. But then it grows closer and closer – and it’s great. Bonus – only one of them needed diapers by then. The other helped fetch said diaper. Long reply short – don’t worry about timing. Just do what you want when you want to. Or don’t.

    • Thank you! I was worried about the timing. But your comments make me realize the time spent together and upbringing will determine their relationship and friendship in the years to come. . .Not the number of years apart. . .It would be nice to have someone fetch diapers. . .Either way, I’ll be sure to moan and groan about it right here! Ha.

  4. Oh man, I am definitely struggling with this, too. I am an only child and I really don’t want that for Livi. But then all the concerns you mention keep me awake at night. It is such a huge decision with major consequences. What to do, what to do.

    • I’m so glad it’s not just me! 🙂 Musings of a Mom offered up some nice thoughts earlier in this thread. SHE HAS 4!! It will be fun to see what happens. 🙂

  5. Kudos to you for taking the time to care enough to agonize! It means that you are in this for the right reasons. Honestly, I’d say that in itself shows that you are MORE than capable of taking care of a 2 year old and a baby. Hubby and I did it. Twice and the kids love each other dearly. (12, 10, 3 & 7 months – gluttons for punishment I guess!)

    Do I get to spend enough time with each of them? Never. But here’s the key – you never will. Even if every day is a magical day where your attention is perfectly divided between house, hubby and kids – they will all want/need more. So, you make the time that you DO spend together count.

    Oh, and your reaction to the thought of looking at that pregnancy test and seeing a positive result? Perfectly normal… Whichever way it goes! 🙂

    • Awwww. Thanks! I’m still waffling but I can see from all the comments, I’m definitely not alone in doing so. My sisters and I are each about 2 years apart and I feel like – while it must have nearly killed my Mother at times – it made us really good friends in the long run. Thanks for the wisdom and smart thoughts!

  6. Pingback: It’s Happening!! I Can’t Believe It’s Actually Happening!! | The Diary of a Reluctant Mother

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