Holy BLEEPING FREAK OUT!!!

GACK! That’s the carcass. Right by the chair leg.

I’m done.

I won’t be sleeping tonight.

At. All.

And it’s not the kid.

Dear Barbara, I’m sitting here twitching.

I just went to the basement to get some laundry from the dryer.

And the biggest freaking roach I’ve EVER seen went scurrying across the floor in front of me.

I nearly stopped breathing.

Cover me in spiders, snakes, heck, I’d probably be ok with a few leaches.

I am not ok with roaches.

We live in an urban area, a relatively clean neighborhood, but still in an urban area and sometimes when the weather cools, these things happen.

But it hasn’t happened in at least half a dozen years.

So I had become a little complacent, figuring I’d never see one of these vile beasts inside my home ever again.

And now I’m just freaking out.

FREAKING OUT!!!  FREAKING OUT!!!!

Like I want to get my Husband awake, make him gut the basement, and call the emergency exterminator as a precautionary measure ASAP.

I stomped the bejesus out of it.  While wearing a flip-flop.  I’m not even sure I can go down there to deal with the carcass.

And the dryer is still running.

Could there be more?

I can’t even think about it.

What about the cats’ food?  What about our toothbrushes?  What about the wine I’m desperately wanting?  It’s down there too. . .

I think I might be having heart palpitations. . .

I’ll check WebMD.  Self diagnosing an obscure disease will hopefully distract me from the current roach “infestation.”

I just heard the dryer ding.  I was planning on showering down there tonight.  I’m living the roach version of Psycho.  

Listen Mr. C. Roach, you might cause me a sleepless night but I’m not going to be intimidated.

We’ll see how tough you and your known associates (possible mice and other pests) are in a few short hours when the emergency exterminator arrives.

Until then, we’ll be sleeping with the lights on. . .clearly these asshole cats are worthless.

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4 thoughts on “Holy BLEEPING FREAK OUT!!!

  1. I grew up in South East Asia, where roaches can be a few INCHES long. Can you believe one landed on my CHEST once? OMG. I almost died right then and there. And of course a friend pointed it out and then refused to help me out. Another time, one RAN UP MY LEG.

    But in Asia, they are just so…plentiful…that they don’t have the same stigma they have here. But I still hate them with a passion. Another thing we had a lot of were tiny lizards (geckos). And you can’t kill those suckers – their tails just fall off. Imagine sleeping in a bunk bed when you are 8-years-old and seeing an effing lizard race across the ceiling? And THAT is why I slept with the covers over my mouth until I was in my late 20s. Because you just don’t know what’s lurking around your bedroom…

    (We moved out of that beautiful house within a year of moving to Asia and remained in condos after that – no windows to open means no bugs!).

    I hope you get rid of that damn roach!

    • Ew. Lord! The lizards wouldn’t have bothered me – crazy how they can regenerate tails isn’t it? But massive roaches are the stuff of nightmares for me. Husband assures me this was an isolated incident. We’ll see, I’m heading to the basement in a few minutes to clean and give it a thorough inspection. Ha!

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