Friday Funny: Excuse Me?

The other day I was in the Park with Mac.  We were at the Boat Lake.  I was stalking a previously reported Gadwall.  Fortunately for me, there was another Mother and her son there feeding the ducks.  This was a good diversion for Mac while I screwed around examining all the ducks.

The boy might have been three or four.

The Mother also had a dog with her.  The dog seemed keen to sample a few ducks as an early lunch so there was a lot of pulling and tugging going on the entire time the kid was chucking stale bread at the mallards.

I had given up my search for the lone Gadwall.  This coincided nicely with the other kid running out of bread.  Mac and I moved on a few steps and the Mother, Boy, and Dog also moved on a few steps behind us.  The Mother collapsed on the nearest park bench still yanking on the relentless dog’s leash.

Just about this time, I spot the pied-billed grebe and crouch down near the stroller so I can point it out to Mac.  That’s when I hear the boy tell his Mother he had to use the bathroom. I believe his exact phrase was “I have to pee.”

Mac and I watch the grebe dive under the water twice and as I’m standing up, I notice the kid heading for the nearest tree.  This tree was in the middle of two paths not at all obscured in any fashion by other trees or high vegetation.

And just as it registered with me that he was planning to urinate behind the tree, I hear the Mother say, “Just pull out your wiener.  Don’t pull down your pants.”

The look on my face must have been priceless.  Dear Gawd.

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5 thoughts on “Friday Funny: Excuse Me?

  1. Wiener?! I haven’t heard that word is YEARS! HAHAHAHAHA!

    I was in a toy story with Bubbs the other day and we very ungraciously knocked a few items off of a shelf. The store clerk came running and when she saw how mortified I was, she told me she had seen a mother pull down her child’s pants and stick his “wiener” into a bottle in the middle of that same story last weekend.

    Can you imagine?!

    • I did kinda’ have to laugh when she said wiener.

      Peeing in a bottle? In public? That’s ridiculous. I’m certain that mother could have found her kid a toilet in time.

      I’m making myself nuts here explaining how “tinkle goes in the potty” and “Mr. Penis this and Penis that. . .”

      And I’m going to send this kid to Pre-K and he’s going to learn nothing but “you use your wiener to piss in a bottle or on the shrubbery.” Ugh.

    • Seriously. I know it’s less than ideal, but there was a spot-a-pot not too far away. They could have definitely made it. Of course probably a year or two from now, I’ll probably be so exhausted, I’ll be saying the same thing. (Although we use anatomically correct names – LOL).

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