Dear 23 Year-Old Male Dog Walker,
I want to apologize for the other day. I’m sure I scared the living daylights out of you. I just want you to know how truly sorry I am. Please allow me to explain. . .
We needed to leave town Friday night so we could get to my sister’s baby shower. I had been awake since 5:00AM getting things prepared so we could leave the house at 4PM when Chris arrived home from work.
I was doing a stellar job of getting things in order if I do say so myself. I had us packed and the car loaded. We had walked and I showered. I even managed to blow out my hair. Mac’s nap went according to plan.
Feeding and dressing Mac is always a messy and sweaty endeavor. So after I showered, I put on a T-shirt and my trusty old maternity underwear. I figured I’d leave the jeans, belt and other apparel for just before we were about ready to leave the house.
Please understand I anticipated leaving the house long before you ever let yourself in to walk Tilghman.
Except, Chris was running late. . .
And I was trying to keep Mac in his high chair as long as possible so he didn’t feel the need to rip apart the house just before we were ready to walk out the door.
Which is why when you left yourself in the house, you were greeted to the unsavory sight of me in the middle of the kitchen in my underwear!
I’m hoping it was sufficiently dark in the house that my dimpled pasty-white upper thighs weren’t too obvious. And I did try to hide slightly behind the refrigerator for your sake. Although, I’m sure you saw enough to be haunted for weeks to come.
I hope this little encounter doesn’t ruin our relationship. I’m quite pleased with your services and I promise I’ll ALWAYS leave the leashes by the front door just in case we ever find ourselves in this awkward position again.
Sincerely, Dimpled Rump