Not surprisingly, hot on the heels of yesterday’s rant about needing 45 minutes to myself to iron some fabric, I got a text from my Mother in Law – who was undoubtedly concerned about her son’s physical safety.
Just for the record, I didn’t actually hit Chris in the head with that sleepy wrap. My aim is piss poor.
Anyway, she offered to watch Mac. . .at their house.
The CRAZY irrational danger alarms starting blaring in my head.
Chris and I agreed quite some time ago, we really didn’t want to leave Mac without our personal supervision anywhere we hadn’t personally child-proofed (or in a place where very small children live – like with Mac’s Godparents). Or in other places that could be inherently dangerous: pools, bathrooms, near traffic, anywhere he might be able to get his mitts on a 2 dozen cupcakes. . .You know. Standard stuff.
Of course we want Mac to spend time with his Grandparents. . .but. . .
The logistics are a nightmare. They are at best-case-scenario-no-traffic 40 minutes away. He doesn’t get up until at least 9AM. The earliest I could get him there would be shortly after 10 (assuming I neglect to feed him before we left). Another 40 minutes home for me. And I’d have to turn right around and go get him so he’d be home in time for his nap.
We NEVER screw with a nap. (Because I’m crazy and militant).
I tried to explain the logistics issue and Mother-In-Law offered to DRIVE him herself to their house.
And that’s when I damned near passed out from panic. I don’t even want to drive Mac there myself if I can help it. What if I make a mistake and there’s an accident? I couldn’t even process the idea of placing him in a car with someone else. Do “normal” parents do this? Regularly?
I remember seeing the nanny place the little boy who lives across the street in her older model Sebring CONVERTIBLE – with the TOP down last summer and I wondered if I needed to call Child Protective Services. Convertibles aren’t safe for the car seat crowd! What if the car flips over?! What about the sun?! Jesus, there aren’t even side impact air bags in the back of those things!
So I had to shamefully remind Mother-In-Law I was just plain crazy and I wasn’t sure I could allow that to happen since Mac is still so young. . .I mean, he’ll be 35 soon enough and he can do whatever he wants then. . .I’ll probably have died of irrational parenting related panic by then anyway. . .
Mother-in-Law was very gracious. But I wonder if I’m not being completely irrational?
Would it be so bad to put Mac in someone else’s car, allow them to take him into their un-child proofed home and trust that they will deliver him back safely in 2 hours ready for a nap?
(Because until they got back to their house, they might have an hour at best there until they had to toss him back in the car to get him home. The logistics just don’t work given the travel time but let’s focus on my own crazy for the moment.)
I’m being insane right? How did this happen? I mean, I’ve always been weird but this kid has helped me completely step up my game.
Just the other day I felt freaked out when I walked away from Chris and Mac in a store to go look at some lamps. Mac wasn’t in a cart so he was wandering about. What if something happened in the split second Chris looked away? What if we LOST HIM?!
Are these feelings normal? To what degree exactly? I need you to be specific!
What’s going to happen when we start pre-school? What if someone wants him to come over for a play date (Oh Jesus, what if they have lice or bedbugs?!) WHAT?! How on earth will I handle this stuff?
Am I prepared to explain to EVERYONE I’m nuts and we don’t do sleep overs EVER because nothing good happens after midnight. And we can’t come for a play date because it appears your children are dripping infectious snot out of every visible orifice?
HOW DO I HANDLE THIS?! I’m ill prepared.
No one warned me about this when I got knocked up!
What the hell happened to me?!
I’m not sure? And I don’t have time to sort it all out right now.
So I’m going to do what any healthy adult would do: I’m going to blame my own Mother.
My Mother seldom left us out of her sight. And when she did? It was almost only under the supervision of a grandparent in her own house.
And even when I was considerably older and asked to be left alone for short periods of time (because, let’s be honest, I wanted to raid the liquor cabinet) Mom patiently reiterated that “She would never forgive herself if something happened and she wasn’t there.”
Of course at the time, this sounded positively crazy. . .
Now I feel certain. . .
SHE WAS RIGHT!
I mean, look how I turned out!